Andy Thibault

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Cool Justice 
Headless Chicken Probe Eyes Pair
By ANDY THIBAULT, Columnist
Law Tribune Newspapers
March 7, 2005

 `Give Me The Blood Of The Rainbow Snake.'

News item, Feb. 23, 2005: A suspicious package that led police to close streets around the Hartford federal courthouse and call in a bomb squad was filled with decapitated chickens.

The response by law enforcement was swift and decisive.

"These acts are serious violations of the law and grotesque transgressions of the public trust," an investigator said.

The investigator was one of my inside sources, Special Agent Mike "Cueball" Hudson, team leader of the newly-formed Barnyard Task Force [Code Name Ultimate Dirty Bomb] of the Department of Homeland Security and Subversive Imagery. I spoke with Hudson behind a stack of books at the nearby Hartford Public Library. It was a place very dear to Hudson, but not for the books. Many years ago - as part of a SWAT team - he gained a few notches in his gunbelt during the Wells Fargo robbery trial, hunting for fugitive Victor Gerena in the 19th-century British literature section.

Hudson had spent the last 10 years studying poultry, fertilizer and the writings of Malcolm X and Ward Churchill, a necessary precursor to his current assignment.

Organized terrorism has not been ruled out in this case, but investigators are being cagey about any direct links they might have found to terror groups. For example, while Hudson told the press no letter was found with the package of decapitated chickens, he left me a copy of a post-it note that said, "The chickens have come home to roost."

Undisclosed evidence connected with the post-it led the Barnyard Task Force to the suburban New Haven estate of a prominent lawyer who is also a government witness.

Lying on my belly under bushes, I saw agents digging up - you guessed it! - chickens. And yes, they were headless.

The lawyer, running out the barn door, screamed, "It was Judge Robert Chatigny. He's out of control. He made me store the chickens here. Every night he comes here, chanting, "Aida-Wedo Loa, Goddess of fertility and new life, give me the blood of the Rainbow Snake."

FBI handlers arrived and took the lawyer back inside. It was the beginning of an ugly turf war. As FBI agents argued and literally butted heads with their counterparts of the Barnyard Task Force [Code Name Ultimate Dirty Bomb], I was able to scurry away with a representative chicken.

The FBI did not have the technology to find and match the missing chicken parts, so they tried to subcontract the job to a tribe of headhunters from Borneo. Surmising this would take a while, I took my chicken to the medical examiner's laboratory. Analysis revealed a trail leading back to Hartford. The trail ended at the freezer of Judge Dominic Squatrito. Apparently he has been stockpiling chickens there for years.

This leaves me in a tough spot.

Squatrito's a very funny guy, easy to like. Chatigny presents a more officious demeanor, but he seems to try to do the right thing most of the time.

I don't think either one of them dropped the dead chickens in front of the courthouse.

Only Victor Gerena knows for sure.

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